L'Dopage

My dear audience, I haven't been completely honest with you. It's not that I've lied, per se. It's just that I may have, er, obfuscated the truth. What I have to tell you is pretty damning, but better that you hear it from me than read it in some magazine or an interview with Dick Pound.

My performance in the past has been pretty good. I'm not exactly the best of the best, but I'm happy with the way I've progressed, and I know the best is yet to come. Unfortunately, I can no longer hide the fact that this performance has not been the result of hard work or talent alone.

Yes. I have been using a Performance Enhancing Substance. It started a few years back, when I realized that I was drifting behind others when I knew it was in me to be ahead. It was just so frustrating... I was tired, I was having trouble getting results... and I wasn't happy.

Ever since then, I've been dependent on my Performance Enhancer. It's at the point where I just can't imagine not using. What would it feel like? I'd probably be a different person, irritable and slow. I could kiss my awesome results goodbye. The snap, the pep, the refreshed feeling I've come to expect, even after the longest, toughest days, would be lost. I shudder at the thought.

They say that nothing's illegal until you get caught. I doubt I'll ever be tested, and even then, I probably don't use enough to trigger a positive, but why risk it? Now you know. Judge me as you will, world. I'll never give up my Performance Enhancer, just like I'll never give up my dreams.

My Performance Enhancer