Guide to Fasting

With Yom Kippur almost over, there seems to be no better time to write a blog post. Sure, my brain is doing the Watusi inside my skull, and I get a case of the dizzies every time I stand up. If I can't blog while dehydrated and bottoming out on blood sugar, though, what kind of blogger am I?

The fast starts in the evening, finishing 24 hours later. It's a religious ritual that has transcended spirituality and become a functional, cultural fixture - otherwise, I wouldn't do it.

There are some basics to a daylong fast that nobody tells the n00bs. It took me the better part of a decade to perfect this technique, and now I'll share it with you:

1. During the day leading up to the beginning of the fast, eat lightly. You can't really stock up on glycogen, so you're not doing yourself any favors by gorging yourself. In fact, by priming your body to expect big meals, you'd be ensuring misery the next day. It's a tradeoff - discomfort on the first evening allows relative comfort the following day.

2. Stay up as late as possible. You're less hungry on the first day than on the second, so why not allocate most of your waking hours to the easy part? This technique is not an option if you're going to religious services, but that's your cross to bear (clever, right?)

3. Ensure entertainment. I like to watch DVDs, usually comedies, to keep my mind out of my stomach. Some people use books to pass the time, but my headaches get too bad for reading.


4. Break the fast gently. I can't remember the last time I did so using anything other than Zwieback toast and tea. It might've been 1996 or so - this would make sense, because in 1997 I vomited all over my grandparents' stairs towards the end of the 24 hours.

It's almost time for me to eat again, so I'll wrap the post up now. Many of you may be wondering, "why does he do this to himself? what's the point?" I can only answer by recommending one final thing:

5. Have something to think about. Fasting on Yom Kippur is, at least for me, 1 part atonement and 3 parts self-assessment, a status check en route to personal awesomeness.