Lies that are Worthwhile

Yesterday was my mother's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mom!

As of two weeks ago, the plan was to go out for dinner. With my brother staying in St. Louis after his finals, it would be up to me to buy a gift and give it to her at dinner. It was a good plan.

Then my dad got clever. With a series of surreptitious phone calls, he invited a few dozen of my mom's friends to the house for lunch. He demanded secrecy, covering his tracks as well as possible. All of the champagne and balloons and catered stuff would be stored at a friend's house. My mom would never see it coming.

The key in this plan was to ensure that my mom would be home and presentable for her surprise party. Normally, Saturday is gym and chores day, and she would've probably tore our heads off if we blindsided her completely. This is where I came in.

I had to lie to my mom. In retrospect, the story I concocted is just on the wrong side of implausible - a party in Monroe, carpooling with Aaron and his girlfriend, stopping by the house for about a half hour (not long enough to eat, but long enough to make sure that the house was put-together) for no particular reason. The hardest part, though, was that it was lying to my mom.

I'm not saying this with the deference of a mama's boy. Rather, it is the fact that I had to lie to a woman who is way, way smarter than me or my dad. In the end, she knew something was coming, but the magnitude of the surprise was a surprise in and of itself.

That was the small lie.

The big lie was actually easier to tell, because it was just so unforeseeable. My brother, who was planning to stay in St. Louis through winter break, informed me mid-week that he would be driving to Jersey in time for mom's party. It was so devious, so fantastic, that nobody saw it coming.

At lunch with my dad on Thursday, I could only shrug when the subject of my brother came up. Anything more verbal than a grunt would seem rehearsed and see-through. I'm a terrible liar.

The payoff was on Saturday. Unfortunately, I had to miss the arrival of the first guests, so I cant say exactly how shocked my mom was. When my brother pulled into the driveway, though, and my dad's expression went immediately pallid... well, that was special.

I went into the house first, and as my mom came over to hug me, she noticed my brother. A woman whose picture appears in the dictionary next to the word "proper", my mom was reduced to cursing when she realized what was going on. She said "Shit". It was awesome.

So, I've been waiting to blog about this for a week now, but couldn't, for fear of ruining the surprise. I hate lying, but man oh man, sometimes it's worth it.