Long Shorts and the Prophecy

"Shorts to your knees are only justifiable when your thighs are as big as my waist."
Don, Ninja (ninjarelations AT rutgerscycling DOT com). "cat 5 shorts" Personal correspondence to Will, SpikyHair (devileyes AT lolcat DOT com) and Aaron (needanickname AT blueblanket DOT org), 4 Apr. 2008.

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"want. to. look. like. that.

who's up for a six hour trainer ride tonight?"

Will, SpikyHair (devileyes AT lolcat DOT com). "re: cat 5 shorts" Personal correspondence to Don, Ninja (ninjarelations AT rutgerscycling DOT com) and Aaron (needanickname AT blueblanket DOT org), 4 Apr. 2008.

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"f*** that. let's buy a squat rack. who's up for 6 hours of deep knee-bends?"

Don, Ninja (ninjarelations AT rutgerscycling DOT com). "re: cat 5 shorts" Personal correspondence to Will, SpikyHair (devileyes AT lolcat DOT com) and Aaron (needanickname AT blueblanket DOT org), 4 Apr. 2008.

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"No thank you. I say we eat nachos, cookies, and ice cream for six hours tonight while sitting on our fat asses watching [television]. Who's in?"

Aaron (needanickname AT blueblanket DOT org). "re: cat 5 shorts" Personal correspondence to Will, SpikyHair (devileyes AT lolcat DOT com) and Don, Ninja (ninjarelations AT rutgerscycling DOT com), 4 Apr. 2008.

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"The future:

Don is going to herniate his back and blow out his ACL after 3 weeks of his squat regimen. He will have no future in cycling.

I am going to put a trainer facing a wall in a room with no lights. After 4 months of my draconian 6-hour trainer rides I will lose 40 lbs and my body will have digested its muscle. I will develop minor psychological neuroses. I will have no future in cycling.

Aaron will become morbidly obese. Aaron will be so fat that Don has to take his wheelchair to the store to buy pizzas for him. Unable to leave the apartment, Aaron will develop a porn addiction which will bankrupt him in DVD rental fees. Aaron will have no future in cycling."

Will, SpikyHair (devileyes AT lolcat DOT com). "re: cat 5 shorts" Personal correspondence to Don, Ninja (ninjarelations AT rutgerscycling DOT com) and Aaron (needanickname AT blueblanket DOT org), 4 Apr. 2008.