Obstacles in the Pool

As with most emails to the team, my swimming announcement was 25% informative, 75% unnecessary humor. It was in the spirit of the weekend's hard-earned lessons that I wrote:

please remember to wear your most up-to-date Rutgers Cycling swim trunks, and clean your goggles regularly. point out obstacles in the water, and above all else, try not to piss off the cars you may encounter while in the water.

Hardeeharhar. Little did I know how many obstacles there would be.

First, and most obnoxious of all, were the jackasses in lane 8. On a day when the pool was so full of swimmers that the deck was teeming with people "stretching" while waiting passively for a lane, these three were content to swim 50m, then hang on the wall and chat for minutes at a time. When I was ready to swim, I asked (politely, I swear!) them to move to the mini-pool, so that exercisers might exercise. They scoffed, and told me to buzz off, but they began swimming 100m at a time. I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

Luckily, I knew the lifeguard, and a little bit of friendly bs'ing resulted in the "deep end" by the diving boards being opened for us. A half-dozen people followed me, but that was okay, because the deep end is plenty wide, right?

If you spend enough time on the Triathlon web forums (fora, actually [beat you to it, Ben!]), you'll find that aggravating denizens of the pool are by no means rare. It shouldn't have surprised me to encounter them myself, and yet there I was, dodging arms and legs every lap.

There was Right Turn Man, whose inefficient flails frothed the water around him as he swam diagonally across the pool. I'm sure he intended to swim straight, but his imbalanced stroke took him from left side to right, lap after lap. If he ever swims a triathlon on the Jersey Shore, he will surely wind up in Maryland.

The Great Water Treader was a bear of a man, with tree trunks for arms and bigger tree trunks for legs. He was treading water just off my line, and I felt the wake of his swinging arms every lap. As he drifted toward me, I had to stop swimming for fear of a paw to the head. Treading water myself, I shared a few choice thoughts with them in my "I am calm but very very angry" tone. After that, I was safe from water treaders.

My favorite obstacle was the Little Lovebirds. Clearly Freshmen (don't ask me how I know. I've been at Universities for 8 years... I just know), they were hanging on the ladder and being all lovey dovey. By which I mean making out. Unfortunately, my line ended at the ladder, so I was in a bit of a bind. Thinking back to my High School years, when I spent years trying to improve my flipturns, I dug deep and undid all of my training. As inefficiently, awkwardly, and obnoxiously as possible, I splashed as much water as I could displace at the Lovebirds. And again on the next lap. After that, they were gone... it was almost disappointing.

It's fun to complain about the jerkwads, but you shouldn't get the impression that the workout was all bad. In fact, the highlight of my swim, aside from the Eau de Chlorine, was drafting. Molly is new to the cycling team, but she's a triathlete, which means she knows how to swim. She and I have been sharing a lane the past few Mondays, and we've developed a pretty good understanding. Having worked with her on drafting during Sunday's century, I hoped she wouldn't mind if I "sat in" in the water. As she cruised up and down the pool, I tucked into the slipstream at her hip, swinging further away near the wall for safety.

I'd never drafted while swimming before. It is even cooler than hiding from the wind on the bike. It's a truly unique experience that is hard to describe. Talking with Molly afterwards, it seems that the lead swimmer feels the drafting more than cyclists can, so I'm really grateful that she didn't mind my leeching off her speed.

This Monday recovery swim thing is working out really well. Obstacles and all.