The Scam

This is my first winter in housing where I am responsible for the gas
bill. In the past it was my parents, or the university, or even my
landlord that took care of gas. Now it's on me.

January, as you can imagine, brought with it a huge shock, as the
sub-freezing temperatures drove the gas bill sky-high. There was a
small panic in the apartment, and even split three ways, the utility
bill hurt.

Rational minds prevailed, and rather than abscond to Arizona, we
noticed that our electric bill had barely budged, even though our
electric heaters had been on all month. We resolved to lower the
themostat, crank the heaters to overdrive, and hope for a warm
February.

Thankfully, this month has seen unseasonable warmth (tangible proof of
global warming, say the same people who called record-setting October
a fluke), and with our thermostat way down, we looked forward to a
smaller utility bill.

Imagine our shock when the bill arrived this weekend, even bigger than
the previous month's!

There was no panic this time, just dejection. Powerless in the face of
the Utility Gods, we felt woefully insignificant, depressingly
impotent. We were doomed to pay ri-damn-diculous bills, no matter how
diligently we shivered through the winter.

All was not lost, though. Determined to find some rational explanation
for my financial ruination, I looked at the detailed report... and
there it was, the clue in the report, the needle in the haystack. The
gas usage for this month's bill was an "estimate".

Surely this was the mistake. Surely The Man doesn't just pull a number
out of thin air when the Meter Reader can't read the meter (say that
five times fast!).

Long story short, it seems that that's exactly how it works. How
convenient for the gas company! How sharp!

So I called this morning, waited on hold for 20 minutes, and read the
meter to the operator.

Savings: ~100 dollars

I am the hero of my apartment, at least today.

The moral of the story, my dear chickadees, is simple. Don't take it
from The Man. Also, buy me a beer.