Oh, How Hilariously Awkward

Listen up, Ben Stiller. Attention, Ricky Gervais. You too, Larry David. I guess this is your first warning, Steve Carell, but you are on notice!!!

I think I speak on behalf of just about nobody when I say that your schtick is getting to be rather overdone. While your performances are brilliant, and while your gimmicks take indisputable talent and comedic timing, I am getting so goddamn sick of you.

Yours is perhaps the most obnoxious form of humor to be captured on film. Not since a ladder-toting Larry pivoted, knocking Moe and Curly to the ground, have I groaned so painfully. Remember that movie where that dude had sex with a pie? Sex with a pie! You're on that level, gentlemen.

I'm not saying that I don't laugh when I watch your movies and shows. I'm just saying that I hate myself for laughing.

If the entire premise for your comedy is "any reasonable human being could extricate himself from this situation with either honesty, silence, or a simple apology, but I'm going to lie and mumble... hilarity will surely ensue", then I want to punch you in your giblets. There, I said it.

Please, I beseech you: Stop confusing nervous laughter for genuine laughter, stop being the lovable loser with a penchant for blundering indiscretion, stop playing to your audience's "better him than me" instinct (and, in doing so, making millions upon millions of dollars).

Thank you for your time. Now go away.