TheNinjaNarcissus

Okay. It's time for a little self-assessment, a little reality-check. There are so many things I enjoy, so many topics I write about, that sometimes I feel like the blog is wallowing in marginalia rather than portraying an accurate representation of the enigma that is Don.

I'm a mediocre cyclist.
I'm an above-average karaoke-ist.
I'll even dare to use the word "great" to describe my blogging.
I am a _________ grad student.

The question of what adjective belongs in that last statement is one of the fundamental questions of my life.

The marginalia - cycling, karaoke, and vegetable-critiquing - are surely more fun to write about than the Biomedical Engineering. Every so often I post my thoughts on research, my own or my colleagues', and the response is universally either a yawn or a "whaaa?"... and that's not what my intention is. So I limit the Science posts.

The thing is, though, that I am not an athlete, nor an entertainer, nor a columnist - I am a professional scientist... or at least I'm in training to be one. As fun (and necessary) as these distractions are, they're just not what I am.

When I lose a race, it's no different than any other race, so no worries. When I perform poorly at karaoke, there's always next week. When I write my worst-ever blog post, it's still better than Will's best. But man oh man, when things go bad in the lab, it marks the beginning of yet another existential crisis.

Yesterday I made a breakthrough, solving a problem that's been plaguing me for weeks. I knew something was wrong with my data processing, I just couldn't figure out what. It was so confusing that it wasn't even clear what the problem was, let alone how to solve it. Like a raging case of gonorrhea, it wasn't going to go away on its own.

Suddenly, it hit me. A few tests later, I had identified the problem, and within an hour, it was solved.

"Happy" does not begin to describe my reaction to this new development. I leaped out of my chair and bounced around the lab, grinning from ear to ear. If you were online at the time, you probably received an instant message along these lines:

"oh man oh man oh man
I am the smartest man alive!!!
BIIIG breakthrough
oh yes
woooo!"

And so on.

You have to understand what this means; I can finally make progress again! It's unfortunate that my sense of worth is linked so closely with some numbers on a spreadsheet, but that's the life I chose. Right now, that sense of worth is sky high, and by god I'm gonna ride that wave as long as I can!

Hmmm. I'm not sure if what I've written so far does justice to the extent of my joy. Let me put it this way:

If there were two of me, I would totally make out with myself. That's how pleased I am with myself.

Narcissus ain't got shit on me!