Focus and Disappointment

I love Granogue, I really do. The 'cross race in the fall is top-shelf, and the mountain bike race has been nothing but fun. The promoters, including the sweetly-named Delaware Cyclocross Coalition of Delaware, never fail to impress.

This year's race was bittersweet for me. It was my best-ever finish in a MTB race at any level, and I'm pleased with the way I rode... for the most part. There is one 15 minute period, though, that just breaks my heart to recall.

This post is intended not as a coulda-woulda-shoulda, nor as a simple race report. I'm just trying to exorcise the lingering demons.

Also, I'm trying to post some photos. Like these, from MLKImages:
a good start
the road climb

Anyway, about halfway through the first of two laps, I was riding in third (in my category, Sport Singlespeed... there were a couple of hundred of racers on the course at the time, I'd guess). This was good. By the end of the steep grassy climb, I was in first... this was very good.

I was leading a race! I never lead races. Sometimes I get the holeshot at a 'cross race, but that's rare enough, and I certainly never lead after 20 or 30 minutes.

My lead lasted for about 2 minutes. I lost my front wheel on a slick, slow, root-strewn descent, and I went down hard. While I picked myself up, I was passed by the two guys I'd just overtaken.

Here's what gets me... I just could not get back up to speed. For something like 15 minutes, I pedaled and I steered, but I didn't quite race. That one moment of KABOOM knocked me out of the game for miles. Lots of people passed me, mostly geared bikes from other categories. Two singlespeeders passed me, and I hoped in vain that they were from the Endurance Singlespeed category.

By the time I regained my rhythm, we were only halfway through the race... but it was too late. I chased like a madman, plunging myself deeper into fatigue than I've ever been during a race, but I finished in 5th.

I should have been celebrating, and it's frustrating that I wasn't. I want to be that steady-headed racer who is gracious in defeat and cool as a cucumber, so I try to suppress my teeth-gnashing instincts. The other guys rode very well, and my excuse-making detracts from their well-deserved glory. Dammit all, though, I want to win! It's a race, and if I can win it, then I'm not satisfied with not-winning. If I have potential, I want to meet that potential. It is just not in my nature to pretend it's anything but a competition.

Deep breath.

Friends are people who selflessly lift you out of a funk, not for attention nor gain but for the sake of simply improving your day. Jay, Charlie, and Olivia are great friends, and their company over the ensuing few hours had just that effect. Whether by distracting me from my own foul mood with talk of weddings and research, or by twisting my arm into attending the podium ceremony, they were exactly what I needed.
the Sport Singlespeed podium (photo by Jay #1)
note, please, the Rudy Project sunglasses and Efinger hat
You guys really are great, and I'm grateful that you were there.

A quick shout out to FatMarc, race promoter extraordinaire: The course was brilliantly designed, the atmosphere was fun, and once again you put on one of the best races of the year. Best of all, by introducing me as "TheNinjaDon" at the podium ceremony, you plastered an ear-to-ear grin on my face, and I'm thankful for that too.

This is not my final MTB race. I suppose I could write about "how far I've come since last year, how pleased I am with my progress," and so on, but the apocalypse is not nigh, and this is not my final MTB race.

As a wise, muscle-y governor once said, I'll be back.