It's not that I have a chip on my shoulder. I'm content to just make new friends, debate the merits of microbrewed beer, and enjoy the atmosphere that is a weekend in New Brunswick. Also I realize that on average, the dudes I've been aggravating outweigh me by at least 50 pounds... so it's not like I'm looking for a fight.
That said, I am not the sort who shies away from a confrontation, whether it's reading the riot act to a disgusting roommate or bullying a break-mate into doing his share of the work. Confrontation is okay, because without it, the assholes get their way.
So yeah, I don't get along well with the assholes. Especially not when a friend says "please save me from this asshole" or something along those lines... especially not when this friend is a girl.
Here are simple rules that everyone can follow to avoid the wrath of TheNinjaDon:
- Do not pick up and move TheNinjaDon
- Do not persist in pursuing girls you've creeped out
- Do not choke girls, or anyone
- New: Do not slobber in a girl's ear as she tries to escape
Jay, for one, has got my back - last night he was very much poised for action as I pushed the asshole away from his prey, which I appreciate - and our combined 300 lbs of wiry rage would be a force to be reckoned with. Also, I have a feeling that Blake would somehow appear out of thin air if I ever actually got into a fight, shouting "finally!" and wielding a bat. Mark and Will... well they've already shown their cards, and I guess they can be cheerleaders or something.
What's my secret weapon? It's not any martial arts know-how, nor is it confidence in my fists of fury. Instead, it mostly helps that I'm friends with the bouncers... and that sometimes I'm the coolest motherfucker in the world.
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3 comments:
Tom Boonen is definately the CMFITW. period.
I commend your defense of yourself and those around you as well as your ability to attack these situations without the use of brute force. Mostly out of fear you will be snapped in half by some very large man and I would be greatly put out losing my big brother.
If you ever did get in a fight, I would totally have your back and rip their freaking ankles off.
However, all that said:
No fighting, no biting!
You forgot to mention that Mr. Chokes-alot himself was in attendance (and choking women while taking photos).
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