Reductio ad Absurdum: Jersey Design

It must be tough to design the uniform for a cycling team, the jersey moreso than the shorts. You, the designer, are given a blank canvas in the rough shape of a T-shirt, the logos of the minor sponsors, and a demand from presenting sponsor "Brand X" that the jersey really shout "BRAND X".

So you go back to your designing studio, wearing your designing beret and listening to your designing techno mix. Or something like that. And you create a jersey that really shouts "BRAND X". Voila.

Some jerseys are trendsetting, and some are timeless. Some are distinct enough to be recognizable on TV through the smoke of Western European pubs, but they're easily forgotten.

And then there are the jerseys that look cool enough, but also force us to ask, "how is 'Brand X' represented by six-pack abs?"

A classic example is CSC's 2005 jersey. It's a chic little number, playful and daring... and it has a six pack.
"If I wasn't wearing this jersey, my midriff would look the same"

Sure, it's mildly ridiculous, but so is shaving your legs.

New for 2009 is the Team Columbia jersey. It's neither innovative nor distinctive - honestly, white jerseys are so last year - but damned if it doesn't have a blatant six-pack."We were going for a comic book feel"
I'll give Columbia's designers some credit. It takes massive, ungainly cojones to pull off a look that obvious. I guess that's the benefit of being one of the top three teams in the world - you can make these bold choices, and odds are good that a year later, half a dozen pro teams' kits will make them look like anime characters.

Down here among the mortals, we take our cues from the top-tier. Still, our fashion sense is a bit less over the top - I'd feel silly walking into a coffee shop with a six-pack sublimated on my stomach, although for some reason I don't feel silly walking into a coffee shop wearing nothing but spandex and clicky-shoes. Take the Rutgers Cycling jersey for example (or better yet, buy one)

Sexy, no?

And slimming! Those white pointy thingies give you fake oblique muscles, better than a photoshopped "after" picture. The 2004 version of the jersey has its white pointy thingies aimed outward, and it makes the wearer look potbellied. It's an optical illusion, but the effect is dramatic.

But, what is the effect, if not looking silly? Even in the subtle Rutgers jersey, but certainly in the Columbia kit, are we trying too hard? If the average Joe saw a picture of Mark Cavendish, would he see "Columbia Sportswear", or would he see this?

Hell, as long as we're going down this road, let's just slap some pockets on the back, iron on some logos, and now we're talking real design!

Rutgers Cycling 2009 - Intimidated?